3 Ways How Shame Can Be A Good Thing

Using Shame To Work for You

Phy Floweeerr
3 min readAug 28, 2023

Shame is a feeling characterized by self-loathing, regret, and disgrace. It traces back to Adam and Eve when they sinned against God and felt shame for being naked. Shame is such an intense, painful feeling, so much that it fosters negative emotions within our personality.

Experiencing shame prompts feelings of unworthiness, such as undeserving of love, belonging, meaningful connections, and happiness. Shame is a universal challenge we have all encountered multiple times in our daily lives. Shame thrives in judgment, secrecy, and silence. It paralyzes our will to take action, be mindful, and prudent.

Here are some ways SHAME can contribute to self-improvement:

Reinventing Personality

Shame can used as a tool to transform our personality by reflecting on our behaviors. Most people battle with shameful feelings because of their identity. The world we are living in has made it impossible for people to be authentic for being different and unconventional. Shame resulting from not fitting in can help one transform who they are into the person they want to be through self-examination.

One can use indignity to identify the areas in their beliefs that need adjusting or complete transformation. Our personalities are not permanent, contrary to what many believe; hence, we ought to change them as we learn and grow. Using shame as a personality reinventing tool requires optimism and a positive mindset so one may be kind and patient with oneself through the journey.

Raising personal Standards

Setting personal standards requires lots of self-reflection, honesty, and acceptance. Feelings of indignity can help differentiate Feasible and non-feasible life standards in one’s life. Shame can be a benchmark for raising and devising merits to match our intrinsic worth.

Raising standards is purposefully to cultivate higher levels of self-respect. Indignity does half the work by creating a need: a change from the current standards to more worthy ones. Shame heightens our dislike for things beneath our worth, which is a potent tool to strive for higher value.

Eliminating Bad Habits

Bad habits are like a recovering wound; they itch so pleasurably but with painful aftermath. They stick so badly, like an odor, and are nearly impossible to eradicate. Most bad habits leave us regretful, guilty, and ashamed: a cry for change.

Experiencing shame every time you live a moment is a significant motivator toward changing the habit and eliminating it from one’s life. Humiliation increases the friction in performing the bad habit, which kills our innate motivation, and the behavior becomes an annoying chore.

Idginity can be paralyzing and discouraging, but through a positive and growth mindset, it can fuel self-improvement. The above three aspects are ways I have utilized shame to my advantage instead of letting it tear me apart. I hope this will help you and initiate a positive transformation within you.

Thank you for reading, XOXO!!!



Phy Floweeerr

Connecting through Writing. Expressing My Thoughts. Wild Imaginator, Explorer, Dynamic reader, Writer!!